About Us
NewbiesRevenge.com is the brainchild of one 'perennial newbie' in his own right, yours truly, Michael Klebanoff. I say this, not with rueful humility but actually with the kind of pride associated with the unabashed and open-handed candor of one who feels nothing to be ashamed about nor apologize for but who is continually amazed at--as well as, on occasion, downright skeptical of--the multiplicity of new consumer items and gadgetry and ingenious inventions that contemporary technology seems to be producing for us all on practically a daily basis. It is this multiplicity of freshly-developed products in particular that I am endeavoring NewbiesRevenge.com to be able to present to the online consumer on an affordable basis and off of an easily navigable platform. While, at times, the shopper may find the price-points of some of these offerings a bit more aggressive than at competing websites, the dollars spent here should never be considered 'imprudent' ones. Newbies Revenge is currently a proud monthly supporter two organizations two devoted to our wounded veterans and first responders, two more to our nation's 'little ones' battling cancer and other life-long disabilities, and one to the sad, sad lives of so many of our neglected pet companions--all of which together will ever be the recipients first and foremost from whatever are the revenues generated by our customers' purchases. As these purchases increase, moreover, so too will the charitable-giving capabilities of Newbies Revenge. To be sure, it is our eventual objective to be able to apportion a full 20% of the net profits generated by the product sales here at NewbiesRevenge.com to a select roster of some of the most impactful charitable organizations across America. Presently, as just indicated, those organizations earmarked for our assistance are five in number. By the onset of 2024, we are hoping to increase that figure to an even dozen. And, as a hopefully repeat visitor here at Newbies, you--our customer--will ever remain a valued "Partner-Contributor" with us to these worthwhile causes.
Without question, these are heady objectives to say the least. Are they actually "doable," though? Or just a bunch of feel-good "come-on's" to entice purchasers to the website. Short answer? Not only are the goals stated here achievable, they have already been 'scheduled.' Thus, come January, 2024, when our roster of beneficiaries has been increased from its current number to the desired dozen, two of these charitable organizations will--on a revolving, bi-weekly basis--be singled out to each receive a full 10% of the total profits generated by every one of the merchandise sales here at NewbiesRevenge.com over the ensuing 14-day time frame. Then, once that two-week period has elapsed, a new pair of these charitable entities will be "front-and-center," each to receive its 10% profit-share donation as generated by the merchandise sales over the Newbies Revenge platform during the 14 days that proceed from that juncture and so on and so forth. Such is the process that will continue in this manner, through the entire "lineup" of the organizations that we have selected, unabated and without termination. Hopefully, as time progresses, additional charities will be able to be so supported here at "Newbies" and suggestions from our customers in this regard will always be received with much gratitude. Kindly refer to our FAQ section below for a listing of the entities selected so far.
Ultimately, our intent for this platform is to become your "go-to" shopping venue first and foremost, your one-stop digital retailer in almost every instance and, as the trade-off for, occasionally, your being able to save a buck or two on a desired item from a competing vendor, your shipping costs at Newbies Revenge will always be free and your time with us on the website hopefully an enjoyable experience. The knowledge, finally, that a goodly portion of whatever your hard-earned dollars and cents expended here at Newbies Revenge will always be donated to one humanitarian endeavor or another will, we trust, usually 'tip the scales' in favor of your selecting this particular location amongst all the others that you could have possibly frequented for your discretionary online consumer purchases.
Finally, on the issue of Support, we take Customer Care here at "Newbies" seriously and, to this end, we encourage you as our valued purchaser to be as detailed as you feel you need to be in describing whatever might be a challenge that you may have experienced with us. You will never be advised to simply visit a "support desk" which, in truth, is little more than an email address of some homeworker far overseas who (however well-meaning) will, as often as not, respond to your very specific concerns and questions with nothing but a kind of generalized 'computerspeak' that, for all you understood of it, might as well as have been conveyed to you in Ottoman Turkish. And BTW?--even the good people of Turkey today don't speak Ottoman Turkish. Not any longer. But moving on ... Push comes to shove, I'll be the first to admit it: when I'm experiencing a difficulty of one kind or another, especially a business- or tech-related issue, I, too, prefer--at least initially--the opportunity of speaking, person-to-person, with an actual human being about it. It's a nasty, 'old-fogey'-type' habit in the eyes of some these days, I well realize, and yet here at Newbies it's a preference folks have that we still thoroughly respect (go figure, eh). Here's the bottom line: Newbies Revenge is an American online retail establishment. Should you request our support, either I personally or a knowledgeable company staff representative--not only fluent in "American," but clearly understandable when he or she speaks it--will get back to you expeditiously to discuss with you your challenge. To put it all in context, let me go out on a limb here and, well--okay--"date" myself a bit. When I was a kid in grade school, my mom worked as both a travel agent and a part-time travel writer for our local town newspaper. 'Professional journalist' though she was, her typewriter was a manual Smith Corona. She never had an "electric," nor (back in the day) did most people--if they had any use for a home typewriter at all, that is! As for a "computer," what was that? It wasn't even a word that anybody, except maybe some 'weirdo' type 'science person'--remember "Waldo" on the TV show, The Life of Riley?--would ever have even thought of using in conversation. Telephones were all rotary dial in those days and any clock that you'd see back then had a "minute" hand and an "hour" hand. None of this 'numbers-only' digital nonsense--by golly! Steam locomotives--oh yes, I kid you not, steam locos--with their giant steel pistons rotating, their 'long lonely whistles' echoing and their dirty gray smoke-trails billowing out of the black-iron stacks above their head lanterns--still were transporting commuters between New York City, nearby Newark, New Jersey and the Jersey Shore. And one of the truly "stud" Christmas presents that just about any kid where I came from would have wanted back then?--at least as far as us guys were concerned?--was a Lionel (or American Flyer) Train Set. Not the latest smartphone. Or some video game. I'm not saying the world was "better" then. I'm just saying that that was the world which I grew up in. As a consequence, I believe that I can empathize more than most, perhaps, with the types of challenges and frustrations which I am certain at least some of our (like myself) more "mature" store visitors and customers may encounter from time to time, and in every instance that this might occur, I guarantee that we will do our absolute utmost here at Newbies Revenge to either resolve your issue ourselves or pinpoint for you specifically the party or parties who can. Hopefully, this will work for you, and you'll spend time with us often.